JADE - MOSCOW

“Dobryj dyen, Comrade Michelle! Yes, it’s Comrade Jade taking in the sights around Red Square in Moscow. You may recognize the onion domes of St. Basil’s behind me. So why is Comrade Jade in Moscow? For a six foot five hunk of Russian named Sergei who can make even the coldest Russian night seem warm. He’s attached to the Ministry of Antiquities. Very hush-hush and secret. Anyway, you may notice Jade is wearing a very casual, capitalistic, provocative t-shirt. According to Sergei, anything that smacks of American TV or movies is worth a fortune. To the point, people will buy the shirt right off your back! So who better to taunt these Russians than Stewie!! Yes, I’ve already turned down many offers, but the only offer I would contemplate is from Sergei. Now for him, it’s the shirt, the pants…well, you get the idea. I’ll keep an eye out for some semi-precious stones for you and your jewelry, but Jade may be a little occupied, so don’t wait by the mailbox. Oh there’s, Sergei coming out of the Kremlin. Oh, I love a man in uniform…or out. From Moscow, do svidaniya!”